People with herpes should wear stickers.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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