this just has baby written all over it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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