Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
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You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
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yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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