the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
