names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize