I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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