Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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