I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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