I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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