New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize