You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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