Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We left an ass print on the piano.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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