I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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