Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is it penis luge time yet?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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