That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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