im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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