Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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