real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize