I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
