I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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