Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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