Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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