Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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