I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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