Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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