Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize