Whatcha textin bout Willis?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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