how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My feet surprised me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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