Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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