is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Floor bacon is actually really good
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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