Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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