people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize