btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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