My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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