i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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