If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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