this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize