What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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