you mean i was at the winter classic?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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