I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize