woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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