So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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