Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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