i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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