I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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