I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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