My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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