69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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