Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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