Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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