In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize