We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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